Here are parts of an email I sent to my parents from Varanasi:
I'm writing this from my hotel room in Varanasi. It is a cold tiled room with no windows and stripped lime green wallpaper. I woke up this morning and both of my travel buddies had gone out, and in the pitch black it felt something like a nightmare.
But it is not a nightmare. Somehow. But there is something about this city- the most intense city I have ever been in. It is synonymous with death. People come here from all over India to die or have their ashes burned on the ghat steps near the holy Ganges River. Right outside of my hotel is the main funeral ghat. There are cremations that go on there every 24/7 and the ashes swirl up and get into our food if we order at the terrace restaurant here. You smell it no matter where you go, and sadly, it is almost a better aroma than the cobble stone allies full of shit and pee and who knows what else. Until you have seen Varanasi it is almost impossible to believe that such a place exists.
I will be taking another train this evening to Delhi where I will stay until my flight to France. I am so grateful for the company....I have had no breakdowns, remarkably. It has made me realize just how strong I have gotten since the last breakup I have been through. I might still be in shock, but honestly, I think I've received a lot of outside help as well. Just having the three of us is a world better than the group of seven. There were definitely problems coming back....
....
And don't worry daddy, I know you always wanted to see the Taj Mahal. It exceeded all expectations, and I took lots of pictures and thought of you. I hope one day you two can come and see that place.
I'll try to keep you posted soon. Please don't forward this on to anyone else. I just wanted to get a chance to tell you about what is going on in my life right now. I'm doing remarkably well considering the circumstances. Thank you for the love and support, as always. Your emails in response to my diary-esk messages were very much needed. You were the only outlet I felt like I had.
Loves,
Rachel
I'm writing this from my hotel room in Varanasi. It is a cold tiled room with no windows and stripped lime green wallpaper. I woke up this morning and both of my travel buddies had gone out, and in the pitch black it felt something like a nightmare.
But it is not a nightmare. Somehow. But there is something about this city- the most intense city I have ever been in. It is synonymous with death. People come here from all over India to die or have their ashes burned on the ghat steps near the holy Ganges River. Right outside of my hotel is the main funeral ghat. There are cremations that go on there every 24/7 and the ashes swirl up and get into our food if we order at the terrace restaurant here. You smell it no matter where you go, and sadly, it is almost a better aroma than the cobble stone allies full of shit and pee and who knows what else. Until you have seen Varanasi it is almost impossible to believe that such a place exists.
I will be taking another train this evening to Delhi where I will stay until my flight to France. I am so grateful for the company....I have had no breakdowns, remarkably. It has made me realize just how strong I have gotten since the last breakup I have been through. I might still be in shock, but honestly, I think I've received a lot of outside help as well. Just having the three of us is a world better than the group of seven. There were definitely problems coming back....
....
And don't worry daddy, I know you always wanted to see the Taj Mahal. It exceeded all expectations, and I took lots of pictures and thought of you. I hope one day you two can come and see that place.
I'll try to keep you posted soon. Please don't forward this on to anyone else. I just wanted to get a chance to tell you about what is going on in my life right now. I'm doing remarkably well considering the circumstances. Thank you for the love and support, as always. Your emails in response to my diary-esk messages were very much needed. You were the only outlet I felt like I had.
Loves,
Rachel
