This past week has been crazy. I feel like my world has been knocked off it's axis. I feel like I have surrendered but that life is still shooting at me. I am dragging my feet on so many things simply because I have a serious side ache and do not know how I can keep on running.
This week has been panic mode in terms of India. On Sunday, I went with my friend, Hailey, who is also going to India with me, to a slide show presentation of a guy who just got back from India. It was not so much what he said, but the images that stirred something in me. The videos too. It just made me realize that I am leaving in just a little over a month, and putting the number on it really makes it seem all too close. How can I be leaving in a month? Why is my visa not taking care of itself? My immunizations? IRB? State of mind for crying out loud? And hey, don't I have finals or something like that coming up around the bend?
This kind of realization made me stop and look at why I am going to India again. Sometimes I find it very helpful to get back to the foundation. For me, it is even helpful to look back at some of the initial motives I had when I first signed onto the field study program years ago. I remembered how amazing this experience is... how much I changed and grew in the field, and how much more I will grow by going to India. I know I did not come back the same person, and for the most part I think that is a good thing. Of course, the initial reasons of adventure, academic experience, etc were all part of it, but more than anything I am just grateful for the opportunity to learn and get a taste of what life is like for someone outside of our cultural paradigm.
Somehow I came out of my freaking out stage and entered into the extremely stoked one. A huge contributor to that is probably that my course contracts are finally finished. The last one I needed, ENGL 317R, or Creative Nonfiction, has been filled by Professor John Bennion in the English department. We had a great discussion, and I think that it is going to be a perfect fit for me in the field. Even better I found was that he was realistic about what I could get done in the field. He emphasized the importance of the field journal. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that this time around I am not going to haul my computer into the field. There is something so romantic about hand writing. They have been doing it for years, and I wonder if I can improve my craft by picking up a pen and paper again. It will be something I compare to my field notes in Ghana, for sure.
Anyways, the best part about these course contracts are that upon completing my ENGL 317R class, I am then registered for a HONRS 301R class that teaches how to write a novel. It is with Cheri Earl (I think Professor, I assume... not quite sure), but I have heard great things about here. It is nice to think that once I pass over my essays that I can have a class where I sit down and process my experience. To this day I do not think I ever had or made the time to make meaning of Ghana. I almost feel like I did not have closure. Is that the right word? Do we need closure for these things?
Anyways, the course contracts are in. Now it is time to tackle the logistics and buckle down and get through the semester. One day I am going to be reading this when I am either in the field or back from it and laugh that I ever thought I would not make it through.
I always do.
Other items. Festival of Colors was fun, but that barely counts as India in Spanish Fork. We had some great food with some fun people afterward that made it a great experience. I'm all registered for fall classes and only have a year till graduation, and if I can stay on top of things this week I might survive.
Photo credit to Discovery Adventures
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