March 9, 2011: Learning Journal 8

Remember that time Ashley told us that we were not supposed to lose sleep over our literature reviews and project proposals?  Well, I do not think she was referring to the IRB process.  It is almost two in the morning.  I have been sitting at this screen for hours drafting my second version, and when I finally finish this I am going to study for a Spanish test.  I write a disclaimer just so you know that this might not be the most coherent journal.  

I do have a lot to talk about from this week, however.  We had a facilitator training two days ago that Margaret conducted that looked at how each of us deal with conflict, stress, and communicate with others. Maybe my little stressed out rant is not so random after all.  This is one way I deal with stress.  I write.  However, you can also see that I am a serious perfectionist, and will continue to stay up however late to make sure that I never have a late assignment on my record.  I do not think this is healthy, and I do not recommend it.  Any suggestions?

Anyways.  Between all of us facilitators, we tend to be the kind of people who take on a lot of responsibility, even when it is not necessary.  In the context of a field facilitator, this could be a serious issue.  One of the things that they try and get into my brain is that I am not responsible for others experience, and I am not!  Still, what if someone decides they hate India and never want to leave the house again, or someone stays out too late, keeps breaking the rules after fruitless warnings, etc.  Surely I cannot let the weight of those personal problems impose on my own experience, but it is easy to articulate than do in practice.  I just want all of the students to have an amazing time.  I want everyone to be happy.  I want to be a good facilitator, etc.  But this I know will be something that I struggle with.  It was nice to get a lesson on it so that I can start preparing for that now.

As a part of this lesson, each of us did a bit of a personality test that looked at how we deal with conflict and react in stressful situations.  I am slightly addicted to personality tests if you know me at all, so I am going to happily record my results here. I wish I could say where this thing came from, but I forgot to make note of it and for whatever reason my computer is refusing to open up the attachment to find out.

From a list of categories, you were graded on a scale from 0-3, zero being not existent and 3 being the max.  I found that I had 2 points in withdrawing (which I can see sometimes, but I have zero points in avoiding, which is also really true.  I can thank my step-mom, my Okasan, for that one, so glad I learned to deal with conflict sooner than later.)

I also had 3 points for starting with heart (too true), learning to look, making it safe, mastering my story, and exploring others paths.

I got 2 points on stating my path and moving to action

No points with avoiding, masking, controlling, labeling, and attacking.

Which I think is a good thing.  I think that developing a good approach when dealing with stress and conflict is important because most people will not listen, and will just despise you for your criticism, if you go about it the wrong way.  There is a lot of stress that can go on in the field, and I just hope that I can find a balance with everyone where I can help them enjoy their experience but also have those conversations if they need to come up.

 We all have different styles of facilitating.  I am curious to see what mine will look like, but I am pretty sure that this lesson revealed a lot of it to me.